Lessons Learned

I haven't blogged in awhile. Mostly because I found myself sounding like a broken record 

concerning my response to the media coverage on athletes and others who keep  having   "hiccups" in their lives. 

But, I felt led to post today after I read a tweet from @JawnMurray. He tweeted, "U don't have to go thru what somebody else experienced to learn for yourself. Let others' mistakes teach U lessons! #IndustryTalk". In the past, I too have said something similar to this to crisis clients as well as to young people I speak to. You don't have to "have" all experiences in order to receive a lesson. I shared with a young girl one time, "I fell on the sword for you. Don't make the same mistake. Learn from mine and instead make new mistakes."  

If we all got this, including myself, I strongly believe there would not be as much sensational news on the personal/private lives of individuals. And, our youth and young adults would not fall victim to repeating our actions, as if its normal behavior.  I know I'm not saying anything new or profound. But, I believe if this point is made with as much frequency as the noise screamed by the negative, the mistakes, and the damaged it will overpower it.  

Our Student Athletes STILL Don't Get It!

The Playbook: Mentoring Initiative Commentary on UConn Athlete Jamal Coombs-McDaniel Arrest

Here was go AGAIN! Really?! Come on young people, especially those who obviously are participating and enjoying an active, productive and potentially prosperous future playing sports. I totally understand you wanting to have "normal" experiences with your friends. But, you need to be reminded that you are not normal, if your talents and skills have afforded you praise, popularity and public attention, you are not normal.

You cannot have it both ways. Which is more important to you?

And, as I always ask, where are the parents, coaches, and even the real "friends"? Who has these promising student athletes' backs?

In this day and age, with technology being what it is, if he hadn't been caught and arrested, someone could have easily been recording the "fun" experience either innocently or maliciously and you know where that could have led....posting on YouTube, local TV, a blog, etc.

I am pleading with student athletes to really take stock in where they are in life. Identify what is most important. Have a REAL "come to Jesus" on what they are currently doing that needs to stop or continue. And, determine what they might need to start doing differently. This process can begin with asking themselves the following starter questions:

1. Why do I play sports....enjoyment, natural ability, future fortune, parent push?
2. What role or impact will playing sports have in my future career and life goals and plans?
3. What do I need to do in order to ensure I continue to positively impact my right now and my tomorrow - if I want a career in sports?
4. Do I have people on my personal team that support and compliment or distract and compromise?
5. What's does MY playbook look like and what do I need to do to effectively execute it?

These are just starter questions. However, they will help get folks in the mind-set of really taking a moment to stop, stare, sift and strategize. Stop the ride and routine you've been on forever. Stare at your backstory on through to your present reality. Sift through what worked, what failed and why it succeeded or it didn't. Strategize what your future will look like based on your due diligence.

Until similar steps are taken I believe our student athletes will continue to make this unfortunate mistake.

The actual Huffington Post piece:

HARTFORD, Conn. – Jamal Coombs-McDaniel, a swingman on Connecticut's national championship basketball team, has been arrested on a marijuana possession charge.

Campus police say the sophomore from Dorchester, Mass. was arrested Thursday night along with two people at Merritt Hall, a campus dormitory.

"During the course of the investigation, officers found Jamal Coombs-McDaniel and two other individuals in possession of 5.6 grams of marijuana, a marijuana grinder and a package of cigars used to smoke marijuana," according to the police report.

Coombs-McDaniel was charged with possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. He was released on a $500 non-surety bond and is scheduled to appear in Rockville Superior Court on May 5.

He was one of 11 people arrested during the first night of Spring Weekend, an annual weekend of campus parties before final exams.

Coombs-McDaniel played in all 41 of UConn's games during its national championship season, and started twice. He averaged 5.6 points and 2.7 rebounds.

He is a favorite with the UConn student section, which breaks into a chorus of "Cooombs" when he scores.

"We are aware of the arrest of Jamal Coombs-McDaniel, but beyond that have no further comment at this time," said Kyle Muncy, a spokesman for the basketball program.

It was not immediately clear if Coombs-McDaniel had an attorney, and he did not immediately respond to an email seeking comment.