Lessons Learned

I haven't blogged in awhile. Mostly because I found myself sounding like a broken record 

concerning my response to the media coverage on athletes and others who keep  having   "hiccups" in their lives. 

But, I felt led to post today after I read a tweet from @JawnMurray. He tweeted, "U don't have to go thru what somebody else experienced to learn for yourself. Let others' mistakes teach U lessons! #IndustryTalk". In the past, I too have said something similar to this to crisis clients as well as to young people I speak to. You don't have to "have" all experiences in order to receive a lesson. I shared with a young girl one time, "I fell on the sword for you. Don't make the same mistake. Learn from mine and instead make new mistakes."  

If we all got this, including myself, I strongly believe there would not be as much sensational news on the personal/private lives of individuals. And, our youth and young adults would not fall victim to repeating our actions, as if its normal behavior.  I know I'm not saying anything new or profound. But, I believe if this point is made with as much frequency as the noise screamed by the negative, the mistakes, and the damaged it will overpower it.  

Our Student Athletes STILL Don't Get It!

The Playbook: Mentoring Initiative Commentary on UConn Athlete Jamal Coombs-McDaniel Arrest

Here was go AGAIN! Really?! Come on young people, especially those who obviously are participating and enjoying an active, productive and potentially prosperous future playing sports. I totally understand you wanting to have "normal" experiences with your friends. But, you need to be reminded that you are not normal, if your talents and skills have afforded you praise, popularity and public attention, you are not normal.

You cannot have it both ways. Which is more important to you?

And, as I always ask, where are the parents, coaches, and even the real "friends"? Who has these promising student athletes' backs?

In this day and age, with technology being what it is, if he hadn't been caught and arrested, someone could have easily been recording the "fun" experience either innocently or maliciously and you know where that could have led....posting on YouTube, local TV, a blog, etc.

I am pleading with student athletes to really take stock in where they are in life. Identify what is most important. Have a REAL "come to Jesus" on what they are currently doing that needs to stop or continue. And, determine what they might need to start doing differently. This process can begin with asking themselves the following starter questions:

1. Why do I play sports....enjoyment, natural ability, future fortune, parent push?
2. What role or impact will playing sports have in my future career and life goals and plans?
3. What do I need to do in order to ensure I continue to positively impact my right now and my tomorrow - if I want a career in sports?
4. Do I have people on my personal team that support and compliment or distract and compromise?
5. What's does MY playbook look like and what do I need to do to effectively execute it?

These are just starter questions. However, they will help get folks in the mind-set of really taking a moment to stop, stare, sift and strategize. Stop the ride and routine you've been on forever. Stare at your backstory on through to your present reality. Sift through what worked, what failed and why it succeeded or it didn't. Strategize what your future will look like based on your due diligence.

Until similar steps are taken I believe our student athletes will continue to make this unfortunate mistake.

The actual Huffington Post piece:

HARTFORD, Conn. – Jamal Coombs-McDaniel, a swingman on Connecticut's national championship basketball team, has been arrested on a marijuana possession charge.

Campus police say the sophomore from Dorchester, Mass. was arrested Thursday night along with two people at Merritt Hall, a campus dormitory.

"During the course of the investigation, officers found Jamal Coombs-McDaniel and two other individuals in possession of 5.6 grams of marijuana, a marijuana grinder and a package of cigars used to smoke marijuana," according to the police report.

Coombs-McDaniel was charged with possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. He was released on a $500 non-surety bond and is scheduled to appear in Rockville Superior Court on May 5.

He was one of 11 people arrested during the first night of Spring Weekend, an annual weekend of campus parties before final exams.

Coombs-McDaniel played in all 41 of UConn's games during its national championship season, and started twice. He averaged 5.6 points and 2.7 rebounds.

He is a favorite with the UConn student section, which breaks into a chorus of "Cooombs" when he scores.

"We are aware of the arrest of Jamal Coombs-McDaniel, but beyond that have no further comment at this time," said Kyle Muncy, a spokesman for the basketball program.

It was not immediately clear if Coombs-McDaniel had an attorney, and he did not immediately respond to an email seeking comment.

Panthers cut WR Dwayne Jarrett after second drunken driving arrest - The Huddle: Football News from the NFL - USATODAY.com

Okay, I am so sorry that Dwayne Jarrett was released today by the Panthers. The 23 year old looked to have a promising career....and, he still might. But, right now as I type he is unemployed. The question is, "should he be?" The answer is, "no, he should not be."

As I have stated in previous posts, although an athlete has talent and money, they still do not possess maturity, common sense or life experience. Their life since Pop Warner has been sports...period. And, their life after being drafted is sports. They have not had a chance to live, grow, make mistakes, process....all the basic things teenagers and young adults are able to do in the world. So, when they enter the ADULT world of sports, the expectation that is placed on them is unfair.

When their parents hand them over to their sports agents there should be an understanding that the sports agents don't just help brocker the best financial deal for them with the best team. The sports agent must now take on the responsibility of mentoring, monitoring and managing the off-the-field behavior of the athlete.

Sports agents need to mentor their clients; guide them through all things that come with taking on this adult responsibility called "Pro Athlete". Sports agents need to monitor their clients; make sure they are acting responsible and being a good steward over all they have. And, sports agents need to manage their clients. Now, the latter is done to a degree, but not completely. In managing your client you are bringing in the RIGHT people to help ensure the client's brand is not just secured, but enhanced and ever evolving. All of this helps the sports agent at the negotiating table walk away with more money.

But, what happens more than not is they see the athletes as a check...period. There is no concern or little concern of the athlete's well-being...no proactive action taken to ensure that, if nothing else, their check is safe and a constant, by putting in place the right elements to guarantee success.

So, today, I would like to ask the question, when will a portion of the blame for the missteps of these young athletes begin to be placed on the sports agents? When will they be held responsible for some of the drama that seems to be getting worse within professional athletes' off-the-field/court actions?

These KIDS need help. They do not need someone else in their pockets and being a "yes person". Rather, they need someone who will give them sound advice, direction, assistance and support.

Am I alone in this form of thinking or what?

Panthers cut WR Dwayne Jarrett after second drunken driving arrest - The Huddle: Football News from the NFL - USATODAY.com

Reebok: No agreement was in place with Patriots LB Brandon Spikes

The Playbook Commentary:

Here we go again? Why do a sex tape EVER? When has sex tapes become the norm? Thank you Paris, Kim K, Ray J., etc. for helping create this new culture of sex tape equating to financial success and celebrity status. Because of this folks are not thinking clear. This is a society of instant success/fame/fortune.

What was Spikes' rationale for doing a sex tape pre-NFL or ever? If your plan was to be in the NFL why do anything that might hurt that? Take a page out of Vick, Roethlisberger, Burress' playbook of life and learn from them. Keep your focus on the field and not get distracted by off the field drama. Who encourages you or stands by allowing you to do such a thing?

Did your agent EVER sit you down and tell you what you should and should not do moving forward in your career? I am so tired of folks not being proactive in their approach with these players. Stop trying to clean up mess that could easily be avoided.

And, lets not make this Reebok's problem. They are not the story....it's Spikes problem along with the Patriots and NFL.

Come on man....you have a chance that many young men dream of having...and now it's stalled before it even gets started.

Now, you can recover from this hiccup. The question is, what's next?
___________________________________

Story in The Huddle by Sean Leahy:

Reebok spokesman Dan Sarro said Thursday that the company was never close to a contractual relationship with New England Patriots LB Brandon Spikes.

Spikes' agent, Terry Watson, told several outlets that news of a sex tape involving Spikes had prompted Reebok to pull out of a potential marketing relationship. Sarro said in an e-mail that the relationship never got that far:

"The media reports that Reebok has terminated an endorsement contract with Patriots linebacker Brandon Spikes are completely false. Reebok never had a deal with Brandon. The story was reported without confirmation from Reebok, and as a result inaccurate information is now being reported as fact. We had discussions with Brandon earlier this summer, as we do with many NFL players, but no agreement has been reached and he is not currently under contract with Reebok."

Watson said this week that Spikes is embarrassed by the news of the sex tape, which he said occurred prior to the time the Patriots drafted him in the second round of April's draft.

-- Sean Leahy

When there is a hiccup in your life: Crisis 101

WHEN THERE IS A HICCUP IN YOUR LIFE: Personal Crisis 101

A hiccup (crisis) can come at any time, from anywhere and in any form. The goal when faced with a crisis is to minimize the overall damage. The best way to manage the situation, if it should ever arise, is to not hold your breath until it goes away, but rather:

REFLECT
Reflect, don’t react on what happened. Reflect on the role you played in it. Reflect on how others have reacted to both the situation and to you. Reflect on how you feel. Reflect on how/when/what your response should be.

Honesty, self-reflection push you forward. Lies, misplaced blame and denial push you back.

REMOVE
Remove negative thinking. Remove negative/dysfunctional people. Remove yourself from any and all things that could possibly cause you to repeat your mistake or a similar one in the future.

REPLACE
Replace your negative energy, space and inner circle with all things positive, productive and progressive. Don't dwell on the mistake. Take the lesson, walk over the mistake and move forward.

RENEW
Renew your mind by speaking life into your situation. Positive thoughts, lead to positive words which lead to positive actions. Don't define who you are by just the mistakes you made/make or what others will say about you. You are the total sum of all things reflecting you.

Bottom line: Understand what happened. Embrace what happened. Promote your learned lessons. And, remember that "...in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

We all have a purpose in life to fulfill. The good, bad and UGLY are part of fulfilling that purpose.

It is time to live more proactively in this reactive world. Walk out your destiny.

Almost 80 Percent of NFL Players Nearly Bankrupt, 60 Percent of NBA Ballers? Why?

The Playbook Commentary:
This piece speaks directly to why MWPR created The Playbook: Mentoring Initiative. The objective is to put a stop to this sad cycle of talented athletes living post-professional lives as bad off as they were before they inked their first professional deal.

Bishop Jakes stated in a sermon entitled, "Rags to Riches", that sometimes our gifts take us to places we are not properly equipped to handle. This is most realized in the world of professional sports. Young-gifted student athletes are dropped into the adult world of professional sports because of their talent way before they are mentally prepared to handle the responsibilities that come along with the opportunity. And, no one is taking the time to educate them through the process because everyone is out for what they can gain immediately from the opportunity. There is no long-term thinking, just right now gratification. When will this ugly cycle end?

As I have said before student-athletes are being pimped (by parents, friends, coaches, schools, agents, advertisers, media, professional organizations, etc.), not nurtured. And, we as a society need to become better stewards over the our future leaders, influencers, heads of households, decision-makers, etc. or we are in for a scary new reality. The cycle must be broken.

Almost 80 Percent of NFL Players Nearly Bankrupt, 60 Percent of NBA Ballers? Why?
Source: RO/rollingout.com

The fact that most professional athletes from the three major sports become completely broke and deep in debt after retirement continues to confound the public and sports pundits alike.

It's not like today's players aren’t aware of the many horror stories of players of yesteryear who, because of their lack of job skills, injuries and bad financial dealings, become nearly destitute. Yet, nearly 80 percent of players in the National Football League are hovering near or are in bankruptcy just two years after retiring from the game. And in the NBA, 60 percent of its players are broke within five years of retirement.

Sports Illustrated contributes the financial decline to several key factors: ignorance of business, which leads to faulty investments; conspicuous consumption during their playing days that continues after their playing days are over; divorces, which forces them to pay out exorbitant child support and alimony payments while no longer making the same money; and poor financial planning — or better yet, no financial planning — which prevents them from instituting some reasonable budgetary constraints on themselves and their inner circle, particularly their spouses.

Here are some of the most notable cases of financial blunders in recent years:

Latrell "I can't Feed My Family" Sprewell: NBA fans will never, ever forget how a washed-up, past his prime Latrell Sprewell turned his nose up at a $21 million contract because he said it was hardly enough money to "feed [his] family.” It would’ve come in handy today, because of all of the $96 million Sprewell made during his career, he has none of it left. He also lost his $1.5 million dollar Italian yacht, named "Milwaukee’s Best," in 2007. His $5.4 million house went into foreclosure in May 2008.

Scottie Pippen: Former Chicago Bulls star and Michael Jordan's famous on-court partner, Scottie Pippen lost $120 million in career earnings due to poor financial planning and bad business ideas. Arguably the greatest and most-well known sidekick in NBA history blew $27 million on bad investments and spent $4.3 million on a Gulfstream II corporate jet. He does have six NBA title rings though.

Evander Holyfield: This heavyweight could be sued for false advertising. That's because the four-time boxing champ, known as "The Real Deal,” apparently never knew how to actually make a deal. He reportedly made over $250 million in cash during his boxing career, yet he’s flat broke--and missing a chunk of his ear. Usually, buying a home is one of the smartest investments. But Holyfield bought a $20 million house with over 54,000 square feet and 109 rooms. The house has 11 bedrooms, 17 bathrooms, a movie theater, a bowling alley and an Olympic-size swimming pool. And let's not even mention all those child support payments.

Mike Tyson: Despite his career catastrophes, “Iron Mike” remains an immensely popular personality. At his apex, Tyson had $400 million. He dropped half a million dollars on a 420-horsepower Bentley Continental SC with lamb’s wool rugs, a phone and a removable glass roof. It’s one of only 73 Bentley Continental SCs ever built. He spent over $4.5 million on cars alone. Throw in a $2 million bathtub and $140,000 for two Bengal tigers and you can see why Tyson’s fortune is down for the count. –terry shropshire

Stern suspends Arenas indefinitely

NBA Commissioner David Stern on Wednesday suspended Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas indefinitely, calling the three-time all-star "not currently fit to take the court in an NBA game." Arenas admitted to bringing four unloaded guns to Verizon Center, which violates D.C. gun laws and league rules that prohibit weapons in NBA facilities.

In a scathing statement, Stern condemned Arenas's behavior after it was revealed that he got into a dispute with teammate Javaris Crittenton involving guns.

"The possession of firearms by an NBA player in an NBA arena is a matter of the utmost concern to us. I initially thought it prudent to refrain from taking immediate action because of the pendency of a criminal investigation involving the office of the United States Attorney for the District of Columbia and the Metropolitan Police Department, and the consideration of this matter by a grand jury sitting in the District of Columbia. For the same reason, I directed the Wizards to refrain from taking any action. Wizards personnel continue to be interviewed by law enforcement authorities, some are scheduled for appearance before the grand jury and the investigation is proceeding with the intensity that one would expect for such a serious incident."

"Although it is clear that the actions of Mr. Arenas will ultimately result in a substantial suspension, and perhaps worse, his ongoing conduct has led me to conclude that he is not currently fit to take the court in an NBA game. Accordingly, I am suspending Mr. Arenas indefinitely, without pay, effective immediately pending the completion of the investigation by the NBA."

The Wizards supported the decision in a statement in which the team criticized Arenas's behavior and that of his teammates before playing the Philadelphia 76ers on Tuesday night. As the team prepared for the game, the players circled Arenas, who formed his fingers into pretend guns and acted as if he were shooting his teammates. His teammates laughed.

"We fully endorse the decision of the NBA to indefinitely suspend Gilbert Arenas. Strictly legal issues aside, Gilbert's recent behavior and statements, including his actions and statements last night in Philadelphia, are unacceptable," the statement read. "Some of our other players appeared to find Gilbert's behavior in Philadelphia amusing. This is also unacceptable. Under Abe Pollin's leadership, our organization never tolerated such behavior, and we have no intention of ever doing so."

Source: The Washington Post By Michael Lee January 6, 2010; 4:45 PM ET